hello jo



This is a test done on my samsung jet

So we had a Earthquake!


I was happy as pie and sound asleep when I was woken by the sound of the earth rumbling and the bed shaking, I turn to Jo with a smile and said “Earthquake” I didn’t say it in a OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE way, but more of a child on Christmas day kind of way.

Anyway it lasted all of 15 second and I thought I could make a few gags about “the bed moving” at work the next day. Little did I know the earthquake did more damage than I thought, its turned England into a bunch of fucking hypochondriac idiots?

I turned on the TV this morning to watch the news and found it was a 5.2 on the richter scale, and the worst damage was some bricks falling on a kid in bed, and that’s it, but they had an interview with a woman who started off all smiles and then ended up crying saying “I didn’t know what it was *sniff* and I only knew what it was *pause to keep lump in the throat down* when I phoned up my insurance. What the fuck… how can you phone up your insurance without evening know what the damage was caused by… did she think her fucking chimney felt the wrath of gods hand?

And all over the internet people are saying either

A) “It was like a plane hit the house” – yeah like you would even hear a sound if a fucking Boeing 747 hit your house!

B) “I thought it was a burglar” – what in his fucking JCB with word “SWAG” written on the boot.

C) “The world was going to end” – Yeah every time a book falls off of my shelf I hit the ground and start to repent my sins.

I don’t mind the odd person who was a little scared but it sound like everyone had gone mad. I even read a comment from a woman who put it down to global warming. England calm the fuck down it was the ground moving and no one is dead… move on.

Cloverfield Review

Cloverfield Screen Shot

I have been waiting for this movie for a year now, ever since I first seen the trailers and posters for a movie that didn’t even have a name. I think J.J. Abrams did a great job of getting the internet buzz going for this movie and must be one of the most talked about movies this year (or even in the past few years)

Well I went to go see it on the first day it came out over in the UK (Friday the 1st February). When I went to go pick up my ticket there was a warning sign for cloverfield saying the movie can cause motion sickness, and as I made my way into the screen I seen 2 or 3 more plastered on the walls..

The movie starts with a Blair witch feel with a notice saying the video you are about to see was found in central park and then the movie starts. The editing was done very well as it shows you two of the main characters in NY and the video keeps cutting and flicking to old footage as if it was a home movie and someone just taped over some old footage.

Then within a few minutes the movie kicks in with the footage of the party we have all seen on the internet this eats up 20 minutes of the movie but I think this is a well needed part as it really sets up the characters for you.

I will warn you that after 20 minutes there is no chance to run to the toilet as it’s a none stop roller coaster ride to the end.

The first glimpse of the “monster” is when it passes between two buildings (again stuff we have all seen on the trailer) but within 5 minutes the people we are following end up in a TV store and they catch the news and we get some see some really great shots of the monster. It doesn’t show everything but there is more than enough to let you feel the share power and size of this thing.

They have done a great job at making a monster we have not seen before, as there has bean so many alien/monster movies now that it’s hard to come up with an original beast.

One of the things I really like about the movie is there is no silly Science guy trying to explain where the creature came from, instead we get a few random comments from the camera guy having a stab in the dark at where this thing could have come from.

There is some great one liners from the camera man and they did well to make him funny, but not too much that you end up laughing and break the well built up fear that this movie sets up
The movie ends in the same way as it starts with no closure or details to say what or how this thing came to light.

All in all this is a MUST see movie and should only been watched on the big screen.

Derek Conway no ifs no buts

Derek Conway

I’ve just read on BBC News that Derek Conway has paid his son Freddie Conway at a full-time equivalent rate of £25,970 per year for research (also known as money to help him through university) that he never did.

Okay at the moment we have lots of bent MP’s running around in House of Commons and there is next to nothing we can do about it, but what angers me more than anything is he now faces 10 days suspension from the Commons. WHAT, his son gets free money from us and because he was found out his dad gets a 2 week holiday? While at the same time we are subjected to benefit theft adverts 24 / 7 saying if you keep a few hours over time money then you will get a criminal record.

So if we actually do the work, but don’t pay tax on it, it’s a criminal record, but if you pay your son with tax payers money for work he actually DIDNT do it’s a 2 week holiday.

Derek Conway needs to be relieved from his role for Improper use of allowances.

P.S. I love you Review


P.S. I love you is a brilliant romance with a side order of comedy and slight pinch of morbid humor. I’ve been asked by Jo no end to watch this movie and today was the day I got it out of my system. From that start I loved Gerard Butler performance playing Gerry and with him dying within 10 minutes I thought I wouldn’t enjoy any one else’s performance but lucky for me that’s not the last we see of him, he pops up dozens of times as flash backs and day dreams. Another name I want to say was a wonderful performance was Lisa Kudrow playing the part of Holly’s best friend.

The Movie starts off slow with it trying to make us fall in love with Gerry before they kill of the character. I didn’t enjoy the start to much as I’m not a big fan on girls feeling down shutting them self’s away watching old movies in PJ’s, but once the letters start coming the movie picks up and is funny and at some points morbidly funny

The movie is full of scenes that leaves you with a lump at the back of your throat (but as I’m a man, it didn’t affect me, as the only thing that can ever make me cry is the end of Terminator 2 with the thumb part… yes you know it gets you too). At the end of the movie Jo said she was sick if crying all the way though it.

All in all I find this a great romance and it was very refreshing to watch a funny movie that didn’t try to hard to make you laugh which kept it away from the evil genre of Romcom.

For all the girls out there this is a must see, and for the men… just take your loved on and watch how much she will hold on to you that night hoping the same would never happened to them.

Breaking my back

Breaking my back

Yesterday we went out into the woods to take some photos and to also try out taking photos of the river with the shutter open for a second to get a nice silk shot, but on the way we found an old rope swing. Jo and Lauren both had a go on it (but just using it as a boring swing) So me being me had to step it up a notch. I held the branch in my hand and ran as fast as I could knowing as soon as the rope became taut it would flick me up in the air, but as soon as it did I heard a snap (the kind you hear from an old mans hip on a winters morning) and before I knew it I was flung up (legs up in the air and head facing down) and landed right on my neck. The girls said I didn’t move for a few seconds but as soon as I knew what happened I couldn’t breath and the only thing I could do was make a horrible groaning sound which I have labelled the death rattle. Some how I had crushed my fingers under my head, fucked my ribs and bent my back the wrong way. Even today a day later I can’t move it, I couldn’t even put my socks on this morning.

The only good thing out of it all was the fact Jo managed to take photos of the whole thing so I’ve uploaded it on the net for your enjoyment.


(Click the link above to take you to deviant art, and then click the photo again to make it bigger)